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News

«I’ll be your mirror» on video on demand
«I’ll be your mirror» is now also available with Hebrew subtitles on VOD. Visit our vimeo page to watch this extraordinary and captivating documentary.

«I’ll be your mirror» on video on demand
«I’ll be your mirror» is now internationally available on VOD. Go to our vimeo page to watch Johanna Faust’s touching and honest taboo-breaking film.

«I’ll be your mirror» on myfilm.ch
After eight weeks in Swiss theaters, «I’ll be your mirror» has been released as video on demand (exclusively for Switzerland). The radically honest and sensitive road movie is now available on myfilm.ch .

Accordion Film

«I’ll be your mirror» in the Netherlands
The Renaissance Film Festival Amsterdam will present the Netherlands premiere of «I’ll be your mirror» online. The Festival takes place from April 8th to 10th. Check out the festivals web site for more details.

«I’ll be your mirror» nominated for film editing award
Rune Schweitzer, the editor of «I’ll be your mirror», has been nominated for the Picture Art Editing Award by Edimotion, the oldest film festival in Europe that focuses exclusively on the art of film editing! In October, outstanding works of film editors on German, Austrian or Swiss films will be honoured.

«I’ll be your mirror» in California                                                                                                 «I’ll be your mirror» will be presented at the City of Angels Women’s Film Festival in Los Angeles (9/24–26). For tickets please visit the festivals web page.

U.S. Premiere                                                                                                                                     «I’ll be your mirror» by Johanna Faust will have its U.S. premiere at the ReadingFilmFEST. The festival will feature a hybrid approach to screening films by offering ticket holders the option of participating virtually or in person. On October 2nd, there will be a on-site screening in Reading, Pennsylvania. Director Johanna Faust will partcipate in a streaming Q&A. For more details please visit the festival’s web page.

«I’ll be your mirror» in Scotland
The Scottish Mental Health Arts Festival will present the UK premiere of «I’ll be your mirror» online. The Festival takes place from May 3rd to 23rd and will explore the theme «Normality?».

«I’ll be your mirror» in Sydney
The Sydney Women’s International Film Festival will present the Australian premiere of «I’ll be your mirror». The Festival takes place on November 27 & 28 2020 at the United Cinemas Opera Quays in Sydney.

World premiere at the 15th Zurich Film Festival (competition section Focus)
Tuesday, October 1st, 9pm, Riffraff 1, Zurich

Film

I’LL BE YOUR MIRROR: A documentary by Johanna Faust, 91 min., CH 2019

To what degree can motherhood and self-fulfilment be reconciled? Johanna Faust would like to leave her children and her husband behind in order to pursue her artistic career. But when she gets an invitation to study art at Oxford, doubts arise. Johanna vaguely remembers painful stories that her mother told her about her grandmother. Didn’t she leave her family, too? And what were the consequences? In search of an answer, Johanna and her family embark on a journey into the history of her family, which takes them from Switzerland through the USA to the Mexican desert. «I’ll be your mirror» is the intimate portrait of three generations of women torn between social norms, children’s needs and their own desires.

 

Accordion Film

Johanna feels increasingly lonely and unfulfilled in her day-to-day life with her partner and their three children. She longs to immerse herself in her art again. An invitation to study for a master’s degree at an art school in Oxford presents the perfect opportunity. But can she really leave her children? Is a mother allowed to do this? Her partner supports her decision and would look after the children, but Johanna still has doubts. She has dark memories of her grandmother also leaving the family at a young age to devote herself to art, with dire consequences for Johanna’s mother. But what did really happen back then? Johanna feels that she must first get to the bottom of her own family history before she can make a decision about art school. With her husband and children in tow, she embarks on a journey deep into the past that takes her from Switzerland, to the United States, and to the deserts of Mexico. Layer by layer, memory by memory, she unveils the stories of four generations of women, all of whom have struggled with their roles as mothers, with social norms, and with the painful, often-unresolvable conflicts that inevitably arose between their own desires and the needs of their children.

«I’ll Be Your Mirror» is an extraordinarily personal road movie about a taboo subject. With unsparing honesty and captivating imagery, the film explores how intergenerational traumata can profoundly impact our lives.

Original version in English, Swiss German with English, German or French subtitles, 91 min.

When I was twenty, I gave birth to my first child: it was a radical experience.

I was overwhelmed by motherhood and didn’t give it much thought. The father of my daughter developed multiple sclerosis. My daughter grew up half-time with her grandmother while I studied painting.

I realized very quickly that I would only survive as a mother if I was also able to develop my artistic side. For that I needed space. My mother always told me, “You can become anything you want.” But this has turned out only to be a half-truth. Being born as a woman struck me as an obstacle. I felt torn in the conflict between motherhood and being an artist, and the two ways of life turned out to be incompatible. Children and art require exactly the same kind of mental energy and attention. Devoting space to art as a mother is still problematic in our society, especially if you’re not making a living with it.

In my mid-thirties everyone around us had kids. I thought now I’m also ready to be a full-time mom  and that this would fulfill me. I had two more sons with my new partner. We moved to Berlin. It was adventurous and inspiring. I was totally there for the kids while my partner was studying art. Although everything seemed right on the outside, a big emptiness suddenly overcame me. I was at a loss. I didn’t understand why I felt so empty. Where did this feeling come from? What was going on with me? The emptiness was uncontrollable and weighed heavily on me. I knew I couldn’t go on like this. The desire to fully devote myself to my artistic work was too strong.

I decided to get a Masters in Fine Art. I applied to a program in England – to a special course in social sculpture research, which only Oxford University offers worldwide. And I was actually accepted to study there. For my partner it was obvious that he would stay with the children in Berlin. But several women around us couldn’t accept my plan to leave the children. The reactions were so strong that I began to wonder if something was wrong with me.

Memories of my mother welled up inside me. The idea that the emptiness I felt might have something to do with my mother was almost unbearable to me. But I already suspected that was the case. I knew that she had not grown up with her parents, but I didn’t know the reason why. I knew I had to talk with her before leaving my children. But I needed something to hold on to, something that would allow me to keep my distance when dealing with my mother. I had an idea: I would take a camera with me. That might also prevent my mother from avoiding the confrontation and running away. I asked a friend who was a camerawoman to explain to me how to use the camera and its settings. But she insisted on coming with me and filming the conversations. At first, I had no idea what I might use the material for.

During the conversations I quickly found out that my grandmother, like me, was an artist who had put art ahead of her children. The consequences were terrible for my mother; it really had a deep impact on her life. I realized that my behavior seems to follow a family pattern. Because soon I  discovered that my great-grandmother also found art to be more important than her own children. For a long time I had kept a distance from my parents and other relatives, feeling that the family was irrelevant to me and my life. Now I paused and questioned myself. Where did I come from? How are my actions motivated? Am I really free in my decisions or am I following a pattern dictated by my family? I had so many questions. I wanted to know more. In the following conversations with my mother, I was able to open myself up and listen to her for the first time – also with the help of the camera.

For the time being, I decided not to go to Oxford and instead made the film as an artistic project. In addition, I decided to shoot the film together with my family, to incorporate the conflict between being a mother and being an artist into the film. I tried to realize this film as a way of being together and also to include, along with my partner and my grown-up daughter, my younger children in the adventure. This exposed the very tangible dimension of a conflict, which turned out to be both an obstacle and an opportunity.

My highly personal questions and processes lead to more general, socially relevant questions: do I want to make art that can only be realized by detaching myself from my responsibility as a mother? In observing the history of fathers, I see exactly this process. In my family, some women were artists and apparently made radical choices. At the same time, men have evaded their children’s immediate needs and emotional relationships and left these to women for centuries. I understood that my private family affairs are meaningful in a way that goes beyond the purely personal.

Will we as a society be successful in overcoming the idea that women can take better care of children than men? What will it take to change how fathers see themselves? In my view it’s not about switching roles – even if this can be a very helpful means – but about radically rethinking gender-based role models. As my film with my family shows, positive experiences as well as traumas are transmitted across generations. This aspect often plays a subconscious role when it comes to allocating gender roles. An important focus for me in working on my film was showing how these various aspects are intertwined.

Johanna Faust, Autumn 2019

«Swiss artist and director Johanna Faust explores motherhood from an unprecedented viewpoint, displaying great honesty and courage.»

Muriel Del Don (www.cineuropa.org/en/newsdetail/378842)

«Motherhood between self-abandonment and self-fulfilment – a topic that doesn’t solely concern the filmmaker. A deeply honest film revealing unexpectedly universal insights.»

Iria Gutscher, Programmer Zurich Film Festival

«At the outset of this radically honest film, the mother of three children asks herself whether she should leave her family for a longer period of time in order to pursue her artistic career. Thinking about it, she comes across the stories of her mother and grandmother – and even her great-grandmother in America. She starts to realize how closely these biographies reflect her own story, and she finally comes to a decision about her future.»

Geri Krebs, NZZ am Sonntag

Credits

Credits

With

Margaret Miinch
Johanna Faust
Mayka Marchesi
Jeremias Holliger
Linus Faust
Gian-Andrin Faust
Benedict Hiebel
Anne Bell
Gloria Marchesi
Michael Miinch
a. m. m.

Crew

Writer, director

Johanna Faust

Producer

Frank Matter, soap factory GmbH

Conceptual and artistic advisor

Jeremias Holliger

Cinematography

Ute Freund, Johanna Faust, Jeremias Holliger

Location sound

Ulla Kösterke, Jeremias Holliger

Editor

Rune Schweitzer

Music written by

Fred Frith

Accordion Credits

Musicians

Fred Frith
Ada Gosling-Pozo
Bernhard Settelmeyer
Karoline Höfler

Sound editing and design

Pedro Haldemann, himex:sounddesign

Music recording and mixing

Peter Hardt, Jankowski Soundfabrik

Sound mixing

Peter von Siebenthal, Projektstudio GmbH

Video postproduction

point de vue

Color grading

Peter Guyer
Ueli Müller

Technical advisor Berlin

Sven Heussner

Assistant editor

Mayka Marchesi

Assistant editor supervision

Jean-Baptiste Perrin

Communikation and sales

Loredana-Nastassja Fernández

Subtitles

Manuela Vonwiler, ZAXAPH

Graphic design

Vera Reifler

Project accountant

Marcel Pfeiffer

Voice-over coach

Judica Albrecht

Oeil extérieur

Luzius Heydrich

Produced with the support of

Fachausschuss Audiovision und Multimedia der Kantone Basel-Stadt und Basel-Landschaft
Ernst Göhner Stiftung
Migros-Kulturprozent
SOkultur/Lotteriefonds Kanton Solothurn
Lyseloth Basel
Succès Cinéma
Succès Passage Antenne SRG SSR

 

Many thanks to

Margaret Miinch, Benedict Hiebel, Anne Bell, Pierre Faust, Katrin Holliger, Herbert Holliger, Gloria Marchesi, Attilio Marchesi, Richard Emmet, Robert Emmet, Michael Emmet, Christopher Emmet, Nathaniel Smith, Edna Emmet, Nadav Kurz, Katie Emmet, Joan Scheckel, Jörg Schiebe, Nora Thiemann, Ross McElwee, Gesa Marten, Gesa Jäger, Fred Keleman, Andres Veil, Stefan Schwietert, Natascha Cartolaro, Edgar Hagen, Christine Howard, Christine Sutter, Claire-Lise Perrochet, Claire Morin, Matthias Indermaur, Valerie-Katharina Meyer, Fabienne Robin Gisler, Fabian Gisler, Markus Ruoss, Jessie Eliot, Enno Schmidt, Johannes Nilo, Alexander Höhne, Christian Holliger, Anne-Sophie Holliger, Selma Faust, Caroline Faust, Tobias Faust, Veronica Faust, Angela Faust, Dominique Amgwerd, Hanna Lina Amgwerd, Venja Kieper, Magdalena Weidringer, Asako Iwama, Beatrice Asper, Susanne Vécsey, Christoph Schmidt, Victor Moser, Salome Rätz, Stefan Kümin, Barbara Sutter, Michael von Arx, Sven Bäucker, Natascha Schuler, Katrin Grögel, Gregory Catella, Chris Wright, Hansjörg Leimer, Debbie Neyer, Zoë Meyer, Tobias Faust, Caroline Meier, Stefanie Kuchler, Pascal Trächslin

kult.kino, Basel
Kulturbüro, Basel
Goetheanum-Archiv, Dornach
California Academy of Sciences, San Francisco
Ayassi GmbH, Harald Werner, Stefan Epmeier, Horst Riediger, Berlin
Crosshill Studios, Bobby Good, Berlin

Festivals

Zurich Film Festival, Competition Focus, 2019, Switzerland
Sydney Women’s International Film Festival, Official Selection, 2020, Australia
Scottish Mental Health Arts Festival, Official Selection, 2021, Scotland
Edimotion Festival, Competition Documentary, 2021, Germany
ReadingFilmFEST, Official Selection, 2021, USA                                                                                         City of Angels Women’s Film Festival, Official Selection, 2021, USA                                                                                                                                                                           New Renaissance Film Festival Amsterdam, Official Selection, 2022, Netherlands

Events

April, 8th–10th 2022: New Renaissance Film Festival Amsterdam (online edition).

July, 1st: Video on demand release for Switzerland on myfilm.ch .

Biographies

Johanna Faust
Johanna Faust was born in 1973 in Basel. She’s the mother of three children. In 2001, she obtained the master of Fine Arts from the School of Visual Arts in Basel. Afterwards she studied Color Design at the Höhere Fachschule für Farbgestaltung in Zurich. From 2014 on, she dedicated herself to filmmaking. She participated at several film workshops and master classes in Zurich, Berlin and Los Angeles. «I’ll be your mirror» is her first film.

soap factory GmbH/Frank Matter
soap factory GmbH is a film production company located in Basel, Switzerland. Founder Frank Matter first started directing and producing in 1993. His films have been shown in festivals around the world and won many awards.

Films:
as director: «Parallel Lives» (2021), «Von heute auf morgen» (2013), «The Definition of Insanity» (2004), «The Beauty of My Island» (1999), «Morocco» (1996), «Hannelore» (1993)

as producer: «Der Gletscher kalbt nicht mehr» (in development), «Ruäch» (2021), «Ann’s Pub»  (2021), «Play with the devil»  (2021), «Arada» (2020), «Who’s afraid of Alice Miller?» (2020), «I’ll be your mirror» (2019), «Ciao Babylon» (2017), «Amalia e Giancarlo» (2017), «Thomas Hirschhorn – Gramsci Monument» (2015), «La buena vida – Das gute Leben» (2015), «Grozny Blues» (2015), «Nel giardino dei suoni» (2010)

Media contacts

Distribution Switzerland
cineworx GmbH
Clarastrasse 48
Postfach
CH-4005 Basel

Pascal Trächslin
Stefanie Kuchler

info@cineworx.ch
+41 61 261 63 70
www.cineworx.ch

Production/World sales
soap factory GmbH
Pfarrgasse 11
Postfach
CH-4019 Basel

Frank Matter
Loredana-Nastassja Fernández

film@soapfactory.ch
+41 61 632 00 50
www.soapfactory.ch